Biggest c*nts ever to be Rs (or players we loved to hate)

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Biggest c*nts ever to be Rs (or players we loved to hate)

Post by stainrod's elbow » Thu Nov 08, 2018 10:50 pm

As we all know (or should know), hate/anger/critique is a crucial component of authentic (fan) love, so here's my top 5 most unloved and/or unlovable men ever to pull on the blue and white hoops. (Players who weren't objectively obnoxious but to whom you were irrationally unable to warm might also be included in any responses.)

1. Vinnie Jones

A boastful, dangerous and thuggish nasty piece of work I felt dirty just watching warm up. Arrived in March 1998 on the same day as 'Razor' Ruddock (see below) in a deal which Jones himself heart-warmingly describing as a 'step down' for him. Drafted in by the late Ray Harford to, ahem, 'build spirit and winning determination' into the culture of the club, he debuted at Huddersfield scoring an improbably skilful goal which he modestly compared to a Brazilian's and actually seemed popular among some of the fans, who evidently thought balls-grabbing bullies (with obvious latent homosexual issues) become lovable rogues when they're Rs. Him having once described himself as having taken 'violence off the terraces and onto the pitch' makes me feel I'd still like to see him get a really good kicking from someone to avenge his entire career in the game. If Gary Lineker is a jellyfish, Vinnie would be about as appealing as a white shark in a swimming pool! Not a footballer - a hod carrier who got lucky, and not even entertaining like a pantomime villain. I'd sooner have had herpes.

2. Neil Ruddock

Over-weight, over-rated and mercifully short-lived at the Bush, having joined on loan from Liverpool. Fractured Peter Beardsley's jaw in a testimonial in 1995, who threatened legal charges, and broke both Andrew Cole's legs in a reserve fixture. Add in his refuelling issues, his philandering and Simon Jordan's damning reference that he was taking out Crystal Palalce players and getting them 'wasted' when they were supposedly fighting relegation, and you have quite the charmer and conummate professional. (Lest we forget, Rangers stayed up by one point, courtesy of that Pollock o.g. at Man City, which had, in my book, f*ck all to do with the above two shit stains on our footballing traditions.)

3. Mark Hateley

Ah, the ear-cupping Mr Hateley. Arrived for a princely £1.5m fee from the Glasgow Rs (for whom he managed 115 goals in only about twice as many games) at the unpromising age of 34, with a pedigree that took in Milan and England, but was actually introduced to the crowd on crutches in a game against Spuds, too poorly to play until December, and didn't get around to scoring a goal for four months. By the end of the season, he'd played a princely 15 games, doubled his goal tally to two, and the club was relegated. Like a high quality car that might break down every time you took it out - Super Ray pronounced him a 'super buy' (he actually said 'terrific') - I sometimes feel Hateley copped it in some measure for the displaced resentment some probably unconsciously felt toward our idealised manager, given the fact he was also supposed to be some kind of cut-price replacement for Sir Les in a way that mostly seemed like rubbing fans' noses in the Rolls Royce we'd lost.

4. Jose Bosingwa

A player I can imagine even the likes of krama drawing the line on applauding, a more odious personification of the mercenary foreigner at once blighting and epitomising the modern Prem could scarcely be imagined. Ex Chelsea/Champions League, and clearly came with a superiority complex to match his stupid pay packet, he was reportedly as unpopular with his team mates as with the fans. Didn't so much blot as shit on his own copybook by refusing to sit on the bench in a rare Rs victory, the dirty washing from which 'Arry choose to do in painful public. We finally got shot of him to Turkey after he chortled his way off the park on that dismal day at Reading. A shame he couldn't have been shipped back to Zaire via Portugal to be speared by the cross natives.

5. Jim Smith/the entire 1986 Milk Cup Final backroom staff

Some might see as overkill an attempt to bring down the genial Bald Eagle, but that debacle in 1986 is such a toxic wound my cup of vitriol runneth over. As Peter Hucker has eye-openingly testified, a lot of people at the club wanted us to lose on the day (there have since been dark rumours of the team doctor over-prescribing sleeping meds to nervous players the night before), but Smith's deplorable stewarship on the day, his self-confessed inability to motivate the team and seemingly even remember who he was supposed to be managing, earns him my lasting contempt. F*ck you, Jim, and sorry you stayed as long as you did.

And the dis/honourable mentions:

1. Leon Jeanne (1997-2001, 12 apps, 0 goals). Had Gerry pulling out the last bits of his mullet - clearly, amazingly talented, but apparently brain dead as a human being/footballing professional. Alcoholic, cocaine addict, money launderer and finally jailbird. Mind you, with John Fashanu for your agent, what price dignity?

2. Steven Caulker (2014-17, 50 apps, 3 goals). Has been done to death now, but a counter-educational object lesson in how not to handle your demons, let alone take responsibility for yourself. Last seen leaving Dundee by mutual consent at the advanced age of 26. Probably couldn't handle the fact that he wasn't as good as people told him he was. F*ck the world, eh, Steve?

3.Alessandro Pellicori (2009-11, 8apps, no goals). Hardly the only one from that era of shit imports and dodgy Italians, but let this non-entity stand for the lot of 'em. One of his last games when he came on without, clearly, the slightest interest in running and competing sticks in the memory, not to mention the craw. Shouldn't he have paid us?

4. Bob Malcolm (2007-8, 11 apps, no goals). An embarrassment of a debut, and a dribble of a Rangers career thereafter.

5. Joey Barton (2011-15, 93 apps, 7 goals). Was undecided as to whether he should make it into my top 5, and probably deserves to. Only came to QPR for the money (on his own admission), red card against Man City (that could have relegated us), insulted the club with a stupd French accent while on loan at Marseille, seriously violent past. There's a part of me that likes, or at least is intrigued by Barton, and his thuggery-cum-philosophy degree, and he turned in the odd OK performance for a very mediocre player. But he brings more issues than a Jeremy Kyle series.
Last edited by stainrod's elbow on Thu Nov 08, 2018 11:05 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Biggest c*nts ever to be Rs (or players we loved to hate)

Post by 222gers » Thu Nov 08, 2018 10:59 pm

I bet you're expecting Mr Krama to come on and say they're all thoroughly good lads !

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Re: Biggest c*nts ever to be Rs (or players we loved to hate)

Post by krama » Thu Nov 08, 2018 11:37 pm

"As we all know (or should know), hate/anger/critique is a crucial component of authentic love"

God help your nearest and dearest is all I can say!

As for your list or any other players/staff of QPR fc etc etc, have no strong feelings of hatred to any of them past or present...pretty neutral and ambivalent. They don't affect me personally so no strong feelings against any of them, even those on your hit list. However give me a choice of people outside of QPR and in the real world, I could compile a really extensive hate list...it's all about perspective and what really matters in life. Football/QPR ultimately doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things does it and that is a solid fact, a fact that even your good self would find it hard to deny or argue against. 8)

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Re: Biggest c*nts ever to be Rs (or players we loved to hate)

Post by White Duck » Fri Nov 09, 2018 12:35 am

Out of your list the only ones I hated were Bosingwa and Caulker to a lesser degree. I'd add Shaun Wright-Phillips.

Can't hate players like Malcolm or Pellicori for being a bit shit. Thought Jones and Ruddock did a decent enough job for us when they were here.

I had an irrational hatred of Kevin Brock when I was younger.

Flávio Briatore.

Mark Hughes of course: then and now.
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Re: Biggest c*nts ever to be Rs (or players we loved to hate)

Post by Rbee » Fri Nov 09, 2018 2:06 am

Not heard that rumour before about people wanting us to lose that final, I think we just froze on the day. After beating Liverpool in the semi final we thought Oxford would be a push over but obviously they did well getting to the final too. They had Aldridge and Houghton in their line up who would cause any team problems. I was on the Kop for the semi final, loved it!

Annoyingly Houghton trained with us all pre season and a deal was agreed with Fulham. Last minute he signed for Oxford.

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Re: Biggest c*nts ever to be Rs (or players we loved to hate)

Post by stainrod's elbow » Fri Nov 09, 2018 5:03 am

krama wrote:
Thu Nov 08, 2018 11:37 pm
"As we all know (or should know), hate/anger/critique is a crucial component of authentic love"

God help your nearest and dearest is all I can say!

As for your list or any other players/staff of QPR fc etc etc, have no strong feelings of hatred to any of them past or present...pretty neutral and ambivalent. They don't affect me personally so no strong feelings against any of them, even those on your hit list. However give me a choice of people outside of QPR and in the real world, I could compile a really extensive hate list...it's all about perspective and what really matters in life. Football/QPR ultimately doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things does it and that is a solid fact, a fact that even your good self would find it hard to deny or argue against. 8)
You're impenetrable to me, and always will be - I don't think I've ever heard a (supposed) football fan who sounds less like a football fan. And the irony of your talking about 'perspective' (which is by definition relative) and then telling me and everyone else what it 'truly' is and what 'really' matters seems eternally lost on you. But, good luck with your strangely estranged word of fandom when QPR don't 'affect you personally and aren't part of the 'real world'.

If you don't understand why Bosingwa was/is a c*nt who took the piss out of the club from start to finish, and don't feel at least a little upset about that, then your Rangers and mine are separated by an almighty chasm.
"There's a blue light/in my best friend's room" -Mazzy Star

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Re: Biggest c*nts ever to be Rs (or players we loved to hate)

Post by stainrod's elbow » Fri Nov 09, 2018 5:19 am

Rbee wrote:
Fri Nov 09, 2018 2:06 am
Not heard that rumour before about people wanting us to lose that final, I think we just froze on the day. After beating Liverpool in the semi final we thought Oxford would be a push over but obviously they did well getting to the final too. They had Aldridge and Houghton in their line up who would cause any team problems. I was on the Kop for the semi final, loved it!

Annoyingly Houghton trained with us all pre season and a deal was agreed with Fulham. Last minute he signed for Oxford.
It's in Peter Hucker's qprnet interview. Also see Ron Phillips on the record.
***********************************************************************************************************************************************************
QPRnet.com: You missed out on the league cup final as a result of that then but you were still around the squad, there must’ve been a very different feeling after that game than in 1982?

PH: Totally. There was so much politics going on with certain players and certain people and it’s sad to say but there were a lot of people connected with QPR who didn’t want to win that game. Some of them were delighted when we lost which I found very sad but that’s what the club was like at the time. There was a lot going on off the pitch that supporters might not be aware of but clubs go through those stages.
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Re: Biggest c*nts ever to be Rs (or players we loved to hate)

Post by Esox Lucius » Fri Nov 09, 2018 8:47 am

Vinnie Jones, Joey Barton & Mark Hateley.
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Re: Biggest c*nts ever to be Rs (or players we loved to hate)

Post by Caroline » Fri Nov 09, 2018 11:20 am

I remember that Peter Hucker interview... any ideas why we'd have wanted to lose that Milk Cup Final? The only thing I can think of is not wanting to be in the UEFA Cup for some reason, but English clubs were banned at that time anyway. Really makes no sense why we'd want to lose. On second thoughts... was Jim Gregory in the process of selling around this time? Was that anything to do with it?

Anyway, I was there that day as 7-year old... first visit to Wembley... big occasion... "ever get the feeling you've been cheated?"

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Re: Biggest c*nts ever to be Rs (or players we loved to hate)

Post by Rbee » Fri Nov 09, 2018 1:03 pm

I think Fenwick had started hankering for a move away from the club at this time but looking at the team sheet I cannot think of any other players that might have been causing problems.

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Re: Biggest c*nts ever to be Rs (or players we loved to hate)

Post by krama » Fri Nov 09, 2018 1:41 pm

stainrod's elbow wrote:
Fri Nov 09, 2018 5:03 am
krama wrote:
Thu Nov 08, 2018 11:37 pm
"As we all know (or should know), hate/anger/critique is a crucial component of authentic love"

God help your nearest and dearest is all I can say!

As for your list or any other players/staff of QPR fc etc etc, have no strong feelings of hatred to any of them past or present...pretty neutral and ambivalent. They don't affect me personally so no strong feelings against any of them, even those on your hit list. However give me a choice of people outside of QPR and in the real world, I could compile a really extensive hate list...it's all about perspective and what really matters in life. Football/QPR ultimately doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things does it and that is a solid fact, a fact that even your good self would find it hard to deny or argue against. 8)
You're impenetrable to me, and always will be - I don't think I've ever heard a (supposed) football fan who sounds less like a football fan. And the irony of your talking about 'perspective' (which is by definition relative) and then telling me and everyone else what it 'truly' is and what 'really' matters seems eternally lost on you. But, good luck with your strangely estranged word of fandom when QPR don't 'affect you personally and aren't part of the 'real world'.

If you don't understand why Bosingwa was/is a c*nt who took the piss out of the club from start to finish, and don't feel at least a little upset about that, then your Rangers and mine are separated by an almighty chasm.
Don't be daft, of course I understood the Bosingwa situation, I witnessed it on more than one occasion and thought he was a bit of a dick, but can honestly say it did not "upset" me one iota. Why should it, it wasn't personal. I do wonder sometimes if you have anything or anyone of any importance to you in your life outside of QPR, and all this love and emotion you obviously have to give is channelled into a bloody football club. I say again for the umpteenth time to you, its only football, get a grip and calm down fella.
PS This "supposed" football fan was going to matches (and the rest) and not just QPR, a good few years before you touched down on this planet. I know exactly how to be a football fan thanks.

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Re: Biggest c*nts ever to be Rs (or players we loved to hate)

Post by Esox Lucius » Fri Nov 09, 2018 1:42 pm

This came up in a football magazine or newspaper article around a year ago and, from my shaky memory of it, Smith didn't spend much time working on a plan for Wembley, or draw up any tactics and the players thought he was just being over confident and tried to do a little bit among themselves in training. It was later revealed that Smith was a die hard Oxford Utd. fan and just couldn't bring himself to try to beat them in a cup final. I have a hazy recollection of either Peter Hucker or Terry Fenwick alluding to something like that on a QPR FB group.
Last edited by Esox Lucius on Sat Nov 10, 2018 7:36 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Biggest c*nts ever to be Rs (or players we loved to hate)

Post by Esox Lucius » Fri Nov 09, 2018 1:58 pm

I am ambivalent about Bosingwa, as Giorgio & Wrinkly can attest to, as he was treated very badly behind the scenes. His debut for us was when he came on as a sub at West Brom and straight away you could see he was a class above the other players on the pitch for us, he also played well in his next game but, in the game after that, I think, during the week at training he was told he would only be on the subs bench. He went to see 'arry & Wally Downes about it and was told to wander off, we pick the teams. That was when he locked himself in the dressing room. We all heard the story when a statement was put out and naturally everybody, myself included, immediately marked him down as a wrong'un. I was also told that SWP went to see 'arry about getting in the team after doing well in training and was also told to wander and I heard it directly from Armand Traore whilst walking to the ground from White City station that the same had happened to him.
What cemented in my mind that the ruination of Bosingwa was down to the management was the day both Bosingwa and Stephane M'Bia were picked, out of the blue, to play against Newcastle Utd. at home. The sole purpose appeared to be to get the crowd on their backs from the get go, and it worked. What a lot of fans who were there that day probably don't remember are the two flashes of brilliance by Bosingwa during that game. The first was running back after an attacker along by the Paddock and robbing him of the ball from behind without even touching the player and the second was he had his legs chopped just outside the QPR 18 yard box close to the touchline and as he went down the ref blew his whistle. Bosingwa sprung to his feet and pinged a 40-45 yard crossfield ball which landed right on Bobby Zamora's toes as he was running forward. IMO we wasted a perfectly good right back who had as much talent as any RB we have ever had. All QPR fans will remember from that NUFC game is when Rob Green knocked a hospital pass to him and Jose knocked it straight back Green who fücked it up and Newcastle scored. Smiling when walking off after a defeat is something that sticks in my craw about Bosingwa but I don't hate him like others do.
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Re: Biggest c*nts ever to be Rs (or players we loved to hate)

Post by Crabsandwich » Fri Nov 09, 2018 2:15 pm

Esox Lucius wrote:
Fri Nov 09, 2018 1:58 pm
I am ambivalent about Bosingwa, as Giorgio & Wrinkly can attest to, as he was treated very badly behind the scenes. His debut for us was when he came on as a sub at West Brom and straight away you could see he was a class above the other players on the pitch for us, he also played well in his next game but, in the game after that, I think, during the week at training he was told he would only be on the subs bench. He went to see 'arry & Wally Downes about it and was told to wander off, we pick the teams. That was when he locked himself in the dressing room. We all heard the story when a statement was put out and naturally everybody, myself included, immediately marked him down as a wrong'un. I was also told that SWP went to see 'arry about getting in the team after doing well in training and was also told to wander and I heard it directly from Armand Traore whilst walking to the ground from White City station that the same had happened to him.
What cemented in my mind that the ruination of Bosingwa was down to the management was the day both Bosingwa and Stephane M'Bia were picked, out of the blue, to play against Newcastle Utd. at home. The sole purpose appeared to be to get the crowd on their backs from the get go, and it worked. What a lot of fans who were there that day probably don't remember are the two flashes of brilliance by Bosingwa during that game. The first was running back after an attacker along by the Paddock and robbing him of the ball from behind without even touching the player and the second was he had his legs chopped just outside the QPR 18 yard box close to the touchline and as he went down the ref blew his whistle. Bosingwa sprung to his feet and pinged a 40-45 yard crossfield ball which landed right on Bobby Zamora's toes as he was running forward. IMO we wasted a perfectly good right back who had as much talent as any RB we have ever had. All QPR fans will remember from that NUFC game is when Rob Green knocked a hospital pass to him and Jose knocked it straight back Green who fücked it up and Newcastle scored. Smiling when walking off after a defeat is something that sticks in my craw about Bosingwa but I don't hate him like others do.
Clearly made up - Armand Traore couldn't walk that far... :wink:

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Re: Biggest c*nts ever to be Rs (or players we loved to hate)

Post by White Duck » Fri Nov 09, 2018 3:08 pm

Esox Lucius wrote:
Fri Nov 09, 2018 1:42 pm
This came up in a football magazine or newspaper article around a year ago and, from my shaky memory of it, Smith didn't spend much time working on a plan for Wembley, or draw up any tactics and the players thought he was just being over confident and tried to do a little bit among themselves in training. It was later revealed that Smith was a die hard Oxford Utd. fan and just could bring himself to try to beat them in a cup final. I have a hazy recollection of either Peter Hucker or Terry fondle alluding to something like that on a QPR FB group.
Where was it officially revealed Jim Smith was a die hard Oxford United fan? He was born in Sheffield and spent his playing and management career at a load of clubs so why would he have deliberately wanted his current club to lose a major cup final to a club he’d only been at 3 years and left under a cloud after falling out with Robert Maxwell?
The biggest trophy he won in his whole career was 2nd division champions so I very much doubt he’d throw away the chance to win something major out of loyalty to a previous employer.
If you take Hucker at his word then he says there were players who wanted to lose which also makes absolutely no sense either: I cannot see any reasons or benefits to them for this to happen.
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