Interview with Steven Caulker in The Guardian

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Damien
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Re: Interview with Steven Caulker in The Guardian

Post by Damien » Sat Jul 01, 2017 3:50 pm

westlondonlalala wrote:
Sat Jul 01, 2017 2:15 pm
Satch wrote:
Sat Jul 01, 2017 1:45 pm
westlondonlalala wrote:
Sat Jul 01, 2017 12:57 pm
Appreciate it guys cheers, I was lucky in a way that giving up drink was kinda forced upon me I didn't have a choice, had I not stopped drinking myself stupid I don't think I'd ever have got to the route of my problems & faced my issues, also wouldn't have had my little girl so she was an added bonus.

dont get me wrong I'm no saint still gambling to much and can be a knob head but I'll take that over the roller coaster I was on upuntil a few years back.
Have you replaced the booze and drugs (and gambling to an extent) with other activities to focus on or would that be counter productive?
Well there is not a lot left tbh Satch, I've got an addictive personality and I've pretty much done the lot, apart from sport and gambling everything else is boring to me, I'll do all the family stuff party's BBQ holidays with mrs etc but living life sober 24/7 is not much fun, feel like a spare part when everyone else is on it.

I'm very well known for being a gambler, known to well for it, b4 people say hello they ask me what I've backed first, I know deep down I'll never knock it on the head coz it's all I've got left vice wise. But again I've got it under control and make sure the bills are payed and mrs is sweet first.

The thing that fxxxx me off the most though is when there is a do or nite out & everyone says but you don't have to drink to enjoy yourself, behave ffs stand all nite with a coke & packet of peanuts in my hand shall I.

Next kid I need a son, the mrs has got her mini me to dress up I need a boy to get into footy that'll give me sumthing to focus on.

Just been a life change for me going from life and soul of the party pissed all wknd to being sober and dealing with my issues head on, but like I say it was kinda forced upon me & in a way I'm glad it was coz I never would have sorted myself out otherwise and I'm 99% sure I would have lost everything.
Well done Lala - that's brave and inspiring. Stephen Caulker may appreciate some of your posts... certainly gave me food for thought.

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Re: Interview with Steven Caulker in The Guardian

Post by StevenageRanger » Sat Jul 01, 2017 3:54 pm

La La, have you tried getting into running? I like you had a chequered youth with nights out raving for years! Aged 17-30 was some heavy times!!. I have knocked everything on the head although have the very occasional beer, maybe once or twice a year max however it was never really drink that floated my boat!.

I took up running. Great buzz when you are racing, endorphin release and dare I say this, but the only times in my life in recent years when I feel down is due to not being able to run as injured. I also lost around 4 stone in the process! i Never dreamt I would be able to run the times and distance I do 5 years ago! I took it up at 38 years old! Only wish I had done it in my youth!

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Re: Interview with Steven Caulker in The Guardian

Post by Bear-Grills » Sat Jul 01, 2017 4:42 pm

westlondonlalala wrote:
Sat Jul 01, 2017 12:57 pm
...and can be a knob head...
No, I just can't believe that :)

Well done though Lala
If drink isn't the answer, you were asked the wrong question

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Re: Interview with Steven Caulker in The Guardian

Post by westlondonlalala » Sat Jul 01, 2017 5:09 pm

StevenageRanger wrote:
Sat Jul 01, 2017 3:54 pm
La La, have you tried getting into running? I like you had a chequered youth with nights out raving for years! Aged 17-30 was some heavy times!!. I have knocked everything on the head although have the very occasional beer, maybe once or twice a year max however it was never really drink that floated my boat!.

I took up running. Great buzz when you are racing, endorphin release and dare I say this, but the only times in my life in recent years when I feel down is due to not being able to run as injured. I also lost around 4 stone in the process! i Never dreamt I would be able to run the times and distance I do 5 years ago! I took it up at 38 years old! Only wish I had done it in my youth!
I haven't to be fair when I drive past people jogging I cringe at the thought of it, I'm a lazy bastard, I play Sunday league footy though, after being scouted at 14 I trained with Wimbledon for a week but nothing came of it (my claim to fame closest I've ever got to living the dream), rapidly went down hill after that birds at school drink drugs kebabs.

I like playing most sports tbh tennis is a great game to play i guess it's finding the motivation but your right once your active it's good for mind and body.

I've said for to long though that I'm gonna get on a health kick and get fit, every time mates ask me to go gym I laugh but i really need to get healthy for the sake of my nipper at the very least.

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Re: Interview with Steven Caulker in The Guardian

Post by Esox Lucius » Sat Jul 01, 2017 8:46 pm

westlondonlalala wrote:
Sat Jul 01, 2017 5:09 pm
I've said for to long though that I'm gonna get on a health kick and get fit, every time mates ask me to go gym I laugh but i really need to get healthy for the sake of my nipper at the very least.
One thing I agree with Nike about; Just Do It! seriously, grit your teeth, join a gym and get them to draw up a program for your needs and goals. With the right motivation, which seems to nearly be there, you won't need a personal trainer. Put the hard yards in for a few months and you will soon feel the difference. The irreparable damage is just that but you can give the rest of your body a fighting chance by getting it into good shape and your kids will be grateful that they have a dad that they can do things with on many levels. Do yourself, and your family a favour.
It's not the despair that will kill you, it's the hope.

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Re: Interview with Steven Caulker in The Guardian

Post by TRFKAP » Thu Jul 06, 2017 12:28 pm

It takes such a huge amount of courage for Caulker, and Lalala ( aniclap aniclap ), to talk about these things openly - and it is blindingly obvious when I read through the whole stream of posts above as to which of my fellow board members have truly had to live with these issues themselves, or through friends & loved ones.

I am in the latter group and cannot believe the heartlessness of some of the comments on here - its akin so telling someone having a severe heart attack to just get up, smile and get on it with it - oh, and by the way, stop complaining about that excruciating pain as you get paid a lot of money.

Mental illness is horrific, and it is no easier to shift or manage than a cancer - I have absolute admiration for Caulker having read this and I sincerely hope that my club stands by him and tries to help - because there will only be limited opportunities for him to escape from this cycle.

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Re: Interview with Steven Caulker in The Guardian

Post by BiscuitRanger » Thu Jul 06, 2017 1:04 pm

I wasn't going to respond, however before you all continue to paint me neanderthal, rather you read what I actually posted rather than twist it towards your own personal bias.

I never once stated that mental illness wasnt a serious condition. I never said because caulker had cash he should get over it.
What I said was he has access to the best medical care money can buy.
I slated him because after his road to Damascus moments he just carried on the same way and wasted his opportunity to take advantage of his status and opportunity to tell his story to a wider experience. Instead his story is littered with inconsistency and lame ass buck passing.
Like anyone else, I would imagine, I have sympathy and a some not inconsiderable life experience with mental illness.
Here is a guy, that is lucid enough to realise he has a problem, and is trying to deal with it. So flipping deal with it Steve. Go and do it, get the help, and the very best of luck to you.
Keep an open mind, but not so open that your brain falls out.

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Re: Interview with Steven Caulker in The Guardian

Post by WA Hoop » Fri Jul 07, 2017 1:47 am

BiscuitRanger wrote:
Thu Jul 06, 2017 1:04 pm
I wasn't going to respond, however before you all continue to paint me neanderthal, rather you read what I actually posted rather than twist it towards your own personal bias.

I never once stated that mental illness wasnt a serious condition. I never said because caulker had cash he should get over it.
What I said was he has access to the best medical care money can buy.
I slated him because after his road to Damascus moments he just carried on the same way and wasted his opportunity to take advantage of his status and opportunity to tell his story to a wider experience. Instead his story is littered with inconsistency and lame ass buck passing.
Like anyone else, I would imagine, I have sympathy and a some not inconsiderable life experience with mental illness.
Here is a guy, that is lucid enough to realise he has a problem, and is trying to deal with it. So flipping deal with it Steve. Go and do it, get the help, and the very best of luck to you.
Biscuit, IMHO had you expanded upon your own personal experience rather than left it a small segment of the overall post (which did come across as a bit of a vent) you may not have played into the hands of others. Personally, reading between the lines, I thought you were simply saying that Caulker was better placed to address his demons than many who find themselves in a similar situation. Others (albeit in what could be viewed rather aggressive & personal responses - it's a 21st Century disease, you know, the desire to be offended!) took the view that Caulker may not be able to see that within his own skewed world and therefore it probably doesn't make a ha'p'orth of difference. Interestingly, Lala didn't feel the need to kick out at you. ethink
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Re: Interview with Steven Caulker in The Guardian

Post by SheepRanger » Fri Jul 07, 2017 7:42 am

Unfortunatly though I think some people like to be associated with a illness that can justify bad behaviour. I came across a woman who was suffering from emotionally unstable personality disorder. That was a new one on me and could possibly apply to most women I've dated. She was really pleased though that she was actually ill.

You can throw a label at most things these days. ButvI hope Calker sorts out his issues. Being mentally ill in a high profile job like football cant help his condition. I'd expect he's been told to remove himself from situations tgst trigger his condition, but I doubt he'll leave football for the benefit of his health because the money is too good.

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Re: Interview with Steven Caulker in The Guardian

Post by Satch » Fri Jul 07, 2017 10:41 am

BiscuitRanger wrote:
Thu Jul 06, 2017 1:04 pm
I wasn't going to respond, however before you all continue to paint me neanderthal, rather you read what I actually posted rather than twist it towards your own personal bias.

I never once stated that mental illness wasnt a serious condition. I never said because caulker had cash he should get over it.
What I said was he has access to the best medical care money can buy.
I slated him because after his road to Damascus moments he just carried on the same way and wasted his opportunity to take advantage of his status and opportunity to tell his story to a wider experience. Instead his story is littered with inconsistency and lame ass buck passing.
Like anyone else, I would imagine, I have sympathy and a some not inconsiderable life experience with mental illness.
Here is a guy, that is lucid enough to realise he has a problem, and is trying to deal with it. So flipping deal with it Steve. Go and do it, get the help, and the very best of luck to you.
You probably shouldn't have, i don't know what the bias you suggest is. Your response still woefully underestimates the illness he suffers with and suggests his wealth is a factor. Wishing him luck at the end doesn't change that much, although obviously improves the tone. It sounds more like your experiences of mental illness have created a bias.

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Re: Interview with Steven Caulker in The Guardian

Post by BiscuitRanger » Fri Jul 07, 2017 4:05 pm

Satch wrote:
Fri Jul 07, 2017 10:41 am
BiscuitRanger wrote:
Thu Jul 06, 2017 1:04 pm
I wasn't going to respond, however before you all continue to paint me neanderthal, rather you read what I actually posted rather than twist it towards your own personal bias.

I never once stated that mental illness wasnt a serious condition. I never said because caulker had cash he should get over it.
What I said was he has access to the best medical care money can buy.
I slated him because after his road to Damascus moments he just carried on the same way and wasted his opportunity to take advantage of his status and opportunity to tell his story to a wider experience. Instead his story is littered with inconsistency and lame ass buck passing.
Like anyone else, I would imagine, I have sympathy and a some not inconsiderable life experience with mental illness.
Here is a guy, that is lucid enough to realise he has a problem, and is trying to deal with it. So flipping deal with it Steve. Go and do it, get the help, and the very best of luck to you.
You probably shouldn't have, i don't know what the bias you suggest is. Your response still woefully underestimates the illness he suffers with and suggests his wealth is a factor. Wishing him luck at the end doesn't change that much, although obviously improves the tone. It sounds more like your experiences of mental illness have created a bias.
Satch, you are quite funny. Well at least sometimes. :wink:

You read my fairly blunt post and because it's not filled with empathy and softly spoken words you jump to conclusions. I have very little sympathy with Caulker, I don't know the man, and I wont divulge my personal experiences with mental illness on here, but respect LaLa for doing so and I applaud that. Before anyone thinks I'm being inconsistent, compare the two posts. LaLa's with the account of Caulkers interview. Then perhaps you will see a difference. One is of a man that has accepted his issues, has taken full responsibility for his actions, and is doing what he can to address them. The other is Steven Caulker.
Keep an open mind, but not so open that your brain falls out.

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