Interview with Steven Caulker in The Guardian

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Re: Interview with Steven Caulker in The Guardian

Post by Satch » Fri Jun 30, 2017 12:28 pm

Even if the club have made the decision he won't play again. I hope once the period he's signed off for is up the club give him the opportunity to train with them if he wants it. Whilst playing at this level may or may not be the best thing for him (he'll have to work that out now he's seeking help) it sounds like the game and in particular obsessing on his fitness does offer at the least, a distraction from his problems or a constructive release for certain compulsive traits. Maybe even spend some time with the youth players, he seems keen to try and do positive things.

This really raises the question of whether the club should add a mental health component to it's medical staff-and make it mandatory to attend? Obviously imbeciles like biscuit will think it unnecessary. But suicide is the biggest single killer of men 20-49 in the UK. So given the demographics, you'd think the need is there. Mayber if Caulker had been talking to someone from the age of 15 he would have been able to manage these issues better.

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Re: Interview with Steven Caulker in The Guardian

Post by Esox Lucius » Fri Jun 30, 2017 1:01 pm

willo wrote:
Fri Jun 30, 2017 6:47 am
Esox Lucius wrote:
Fri Jun 30, 2017 6:27 am
You display a complete lack of understanding of what mental illness and depression actually is. You seem to think that because he is well paid that should be job done with regard to "curing him". He is in the same boat as the many people in all walks of life who end, or attempt to end, their lives for reasons that the rest of us would deem as ridiculous. That is why it is a mental illness. Different people cope and others don't cope there is no measure of who falls into which category. Everyone empathised with Ale Faurlin over three cruciate tears in a short time because it was a well documented physical injury but little is made of the mental fortitude it took to keep believing in himself without falling into depression. "Pull yourself together" or "get over yourself" are the mouthings of the ignorant.
I couldn't agree more.
Blimey Willo, people will think we are friends next ;-) On a serious note, my family have been deeply affected by depression and mental illness and that post just boiled my piss when I read it.
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Re: Interview with Steven Caulker in The Guardian

Post by deadendjob » Fri Jun 30, 2017 6:25 pm

Satch wrote:
Fri Jun 30, 2017 12:28 pm
Maybe even spend some time with the youth players, he seems keen to try and do positive things.
If he hasn't already, it would be excellent for him to work with/meet James Casling.
Satch wrote:
Fri Jun 30, 2017 12:28 pm
But suicide is the biggest single killer of men 20-49 in the UK. So given the demographics, you'd think the need is there. Mayber if Caulker had been talking to someone from the age of 15 he would have been able to manage these issues better.
It's the 3rd biggest killer in NZ. We have more people commit suicide annually, than die in car crashes - and most of the population owns a car.
I personally know at least 10 people who have committed suicide off the top of my head, including one in the past 3 months.
Money helps, but doesn't immediately make someone to get better.
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Re: Interview with Steven Caulker in The Guardian

Post by ozbushranger » Fri Jun 30, 2017 9:30 pm

Esox Lucius wrote:
Fri Jun 30, 2017 1:01 pm
willo wrote:
Fri Jun 30, 2017 6:47 am
Esox Lucius wrote:
Fri Jun 30, 2017 6:27 am
You display a complete lack of understanding of what mental illness and depression actually is. You seem to think that because he is well paid that should be job done with regard to "curing him". He is in the same boat as the many people in all walks of life who end, or attempt to end, their lives for reasons that the rest of us would deem as ridiculous. That is why it is a mental illness. Different people cope and others don't cope there is no measure of who falls into which category. Everyone empathised with Ale Faurlin over three cruciate tears in a short time because it was a well documented physical injury but little is made of the mental fortitude it took to keep believing in himself without falling into depression. "Pull yourself together" or "get over yourself" are the mouthings of the ignorant.
I couldn't agree more.
Blimey Willo, people will think we are friends next ;-) On a serious note, my family have been deeply affected by depression and mental illness and that post just boiled my piss when I read it.
I had the same reaction as you Esox, I read that article and admire the bravery it takes to lay yourself bare like that.

Yes this is a message board and everyone has a right to have a view, I just scratch my head at some of the narrow minded opinions people have.

One comment mentioned Holloway having an alteriar motive for the support he gave to Caulker, how about that Holloway is just a decent genuine sole showing genuine concern for a human being who is struggling.

We all support the same team but my word I am glad I don't know some of our fans.

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Re: Interview with Steven Caulker in The Guardian

Post by westlondonlalala » Fri Jun 30, 2017 10:47 pm

I've suffered with anxiety and OCD since I was 18 I'm 34 next month, all started with smoking a ridiculous amount of drugs as a teenager then moving onto every other drug in the book then seeing the errors of my ways with drugs I followed it up by drinking 60+ pints of cider every weekend for 10yrs.

Anyway all came to a head around 4yrs ago when I had to give up booze as I'd basicly damaged my bladder & nerves in my stomach, the years of binge drinking has left me damaged for life, even a thimble of alcohol now leaves me bed bound and in agony, I battled it for a few years followed a drinking session with a weeks worth of antibiotics but eventually it took it's toll and I had to knock it on the head all together as I ended up in hospital, I just thought enough is enough.

For around 16yrs I've suffered from anxiety & OCD, it's only because of the journey I've been on the last 3-4yrs with booze that I've actually been able to label it, I always knew I was different but never investigated or spoke about it, anyway luckily for me my mrs & family have been great in my lowest moments & I've got it under control it doesn't generally cause me an issue probably because im t total and have no choice but to face my problems head on with a clear mind.

I don't blame anyone for disregarding mental health I mean after all I'd suffered with anxiety for half my life & didn't even know it existed, I brushed it under the carpet and wouldn't dream of associating myself with mental health issues.

I certainly can see why people would not entertain a celeb with loads of dosh being depressed or having mental health issues but BELIEVE ME TRY LIVING ONE DAY WITH SEVERE ANXIETY OR DEPRESSION & YOUR STATUS IN SOCIETY DOESNT COME INTO IT!

I personally changed after doing so much drugs as a youngster & it was only after I stopped that I started to get the old me back, drink and drugs have left there mark on me that's for sure I'm just glad I've turned it full circle and have been there and got the T-shirt, and by god I've got reality 24/7 now stone coled sober day and night I live like a bloody nun.

As for Caulker only he knows what's going on in his head I hope for his and those close to him he sorts it out.

Interesting that he's the last big earner left on the books & its gone Pete tong with him, the last burning embers of our catastrophic self imploding spending.

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Re: Interview with Steven Caulker in The Guardian

Post by deadendjob » Fri Jun 30, 2017 11:00 pm

Cheers for sharing Lala. Glad things turned around and are starting to look up for you.
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Re: Interview with Steven Caulker in The Guardian

Post by westlondonlalala » Fri Jun 30, 2017 11:15 pm

Cheers I dunno how I bloody turned it round onto me I always seem to do that.
The thing is apart from my school days I've never really known any different, after the drugs had there affect that was pretty much me set for life, after a few years of quitting smoking skunk I sorta got the old me back but just suffered badly with anxiety & OCD, I can't imagine heavy drinking did my long term mental health issues much good either but hey I'm over it now, anxiety and obsessive thinking is part of me & I know what I'm about, I've got a lot of years ahead of me facing reality & life sober, Jesus thats gotta be just as bad for your mental health hasn't it :D

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Re: Interview with Steven Caulker in The Guardian

Post by WA Hoop » Sat Jul 01, 2017 3:08 am

aniclap aniclap aniclap

LaLa, fella that was a very brave and moving post. Who knows, maybe someone on this MB is treading a similar path and reading your post might just encourage them to seek help.

I wish you all the very best in your ongoing recovery.
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Re: Interview with Steven Caulker in The Guardian

Post by Satch » Sat Jul 01, 2017 12:03 pm

Brave post 'lala

Good luck fella.

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Re: Interview with Steven Caulker in The Guardian

Post by dm » Sat Jul 01, 2017 12:46 pm

Goodness me, Lala, you've done incredibly well to have beaten your demons. Keep it going and get even stronger. As WA Hoop said, you'll inspire others to do the same.

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Re: Interview with Steven Caulker in The Guardian

Post by westlondonlalala » Sat Jul 01, 2017 12:57 pm

Appreciate it guys cheers, I was lucky in a way that giving up drink was kinda forced upon me I didn't have a choice, had I not stopped drinking myself stupid I don't think I'd ever have got to the route of my problems & faced my issues, also wouldn't have had my little girl so she was an added bonus.

dont get me wrong I'm no saint still gambling to much and can be a knob head but I'll take that over the roller coaster I was on upuntil a few years back.

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Re: Interview with Steven Caulker in The Guardian

Post by Andy_N19 » Sat Jul 01, 2017 1:03 pm

Esox Lucius wrote:
Fri Jun 30, 2017 6:27 am
You display a complete lack of understanding of what mental illness and depression actually is. You seem to think that because he is well paid that should be job done with regard to "curing him". He is in the same boat as the many people in all walks of life who end, or attempt to end, their lives for reasons that the rest of us would deem as ridiculous. That is why it is a mental illness. Different people cope and others don't cope there is no measure of who falls into which category. Everyone empathised with Ale Faurlin over three cruciate tears in a short time because it was a well documented physical injury but little is made of the mental fortitude it took to keep believing in himself without falling into depression. "Pull yourself together" or "get over yourself" are the mouthings of the ignorant.
Perfectly put Esox.

... and Lala, really glad to read that. Might disagree with some of your posts
but always glad to read them!
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Re: Interview with Steven Caulker in The Guardian

Post by Satch » Sat Jul 01, 2017 1:45 pm

westlondonlalala wrote:
Sat Jul 01, 2017 12:57 pm
Appreciate it guys cheers, I was lucky in a way that giving up drink was kinda forced upon me I didn't have a choice, had I not stopped drinking myself stupid I don't think I'd ever have got to the route of my problems & faced my issues, also wouldn't have had my little girl so she was an added bonus.

dont get me wrong I'm no saint still gambling to much and can be a knob head but I'll take that over the roller coaster I was on upuntil a few years back.
Have you replaced the booze and drugs (and gambling to an extent) with other activities to focus on or would that be counter productive?

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Re: Interview with Steven Caulker in The Guardian

Post by westlondonlalala » Sat Jul 01, 2017 2:15 pm

Satch wrote:
Sat Jul 01, 2017 1:45 pm
westlondonlalala wrote:
Sat Jul 01, 2017 12:57 pm
Appreciate it guys cheers, I was lucky in a way that giving up drink was kinda forced upon me I didn't have a choice, had I not stopped drinking myself stupid I don't think I'd ever have got to the route of my problems & faced my issues, also wouldn't have had my little girl so she was an added bonus.

dont get me wrong I'm no saint still gambling to much and can be a knob head but I'll take that over the roller coaster I was on upuntil a few years back.
Have you replaced the booze and drugs (and gambling to an extent) with other activities to focus on or would that be counter productive?
Well there is not a lot left tbh Satch, I've got an addictive personality and I've pretty much done the lot, apart from sport and gambling everything else is boring to me, I'll do all the family stuff party's BBQ holidays with mrs etc but living life sober 24/7 is not much fun, feel like a spare part when everyone else is on it.

I'm very well known for being a gambler, known to well for it, b4 people say hello they ask me what I've backed first, I know deep down I'll never knock it on the head coz it's all I've got left vice wise. But again I've got it under control and make sure the bills are payed and mrs is sweet first.

The thing that fxxxx me off the most though is when there is a do or nite out & everyone says but you don't have to drink to enjoy yourself, behave ffs stand all nite with a coke & packet of peanuts in my hand shall I.

Next kid I need a son, the mrs has got her mini me to dress up I need a boy to get into footy that'll give me sumthing to focus on.

Just been a life change for me going from life and soul of the party pissed all wknd to being sober and dealing with my issues head on, but like I say it was kinda forced upon me & in a way I'm glad it was coz I never would have sorted myself out otherwise and I'm 99% sure I would have lost everything.

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Re: Interview with Steven Caulker in The Guardian

Post by Damien » Sat Jul 01, 2017 3:45 pm

willo wrote:
Fri Jun 30, 2017 6:47 am
Esox Lucius wrote:
Fri Jun 30, 2017 6:27 am
You display a complete lack of understanding of what mental illness and depression actually is. You seem to think that because he is well paid that should be job done with regard to "curing him". He is in the same boat as the many people in all walks of life who end, or attempt to end, their lives for reasons that the rest of us would deem as ridiculous. That is why it is a mental illness. Different people cope and others don't cope there is no measure of who falls into which category. Everyone empathised with Ale Faurlin over three cruciate tears in a short time because it was a well documented physical injury but little is made of the mental fortitude it took to keep believing in himself without falling into depression. "Pull yourself together" or "get over yourself" are the mouthings of the ignorant.
I couldn't agree more.
Me too. Still living with mental illness, and some people's comment's/understanding don't make it any easier. I wish Caulker well purely on a human level.

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